Tag: loss

I recall when I suffered a great loss in early twenties my grandmother whom I called Gammy died. 

Not so coincidentialy before she left us I saw a movie that sort of prepared how to cope with losing someone.

It did provide me a bit of comfort, not from the loss I suffered but for her fate and spirit I also knew her suffering was over.

It was somewhat of a documentary about dear death experiences and how   moving on from this physical life was another phase of existence waiting for us in the spiritual realm. I can’t remember if I knew she was ill when I saw this film.

I gained an understanding and a belief system that is both logical and compassionate to me.

Even still was not prepared to loose her. She was soon to turn 58, and I really couldn’t imagine a world without her. I would not believe that it was her time to go. Her mother, Grandma was still alive so it made no sense to me.

I prayed she would recover from the cancer and and I would get to have her in my life for many years to come.

The pain and loss I felt is indescribable and after a year I guess I got it together enough to get my head straight enough to try college again. That’s something she really wanted for me. She would have been so proud see me graduate four years later.

Now that I’m older I have so many thoughts about her. I now have so much appreciation for the love she had for me. I wish I could I have shown it more. That’s something you realize after you really become a grown-up. I’m so grateful that me and me little girl got to live with her the last year of her life.

I thought  about all the sadness that accompanies losing someone that you love someone maybe even famous that you didn’t know but feeling bad about losing them. Do we ever stop and think that they are going to a spiritual life that is so much better and that they are doing fine and looking in on their loved ones? The times when you feel their presence near that’s when they looking in on you is something someone told me.

I have listened to many accounts of people who were in comas near-death or technically died and came back to tell their experiences. All of these accounts are so erilly similar makes me inclined to believe the stories.

Many years ago I reasoned whether exist in spirit form with God before you are born in the flesh or you don’t exist at all you go back to that state. (I never believed in hell and torment).

We are spiritual beings living a temporary human experience on this very unique life journey. This makes a lot of sense to me.