The very thought of getting old used to scare me. I wish I could say that it no longer does but that’s not really the case. It’s not as scary because it’s happening in real time and I’m adjusting even though. I see myself being healthy, still attractive, growing and learning . I wanted to understand why am I so afraid of that? It’s The first thing that probably came into mind before I turned 40 was you can’t stop the years or even slow them down. Either we grow old or die young. So what about all my dreams and goals what do I get to fulfill in this lifetime that passes much too fast ?
Somehow the thought of life was in past and missing out on something that was really important to me was just as scary. I had a few dreams few bucket list things and some of them I’ve done,like visited Paris and Egypt and lived in Los Angeles.There’s so much that I want to do one lifetime is not enough.
It could be said that the fear of getting old is actually a fear of dying. You don’t know where you go or what’s going to happen after then. Would you just not exist anymore after you take your last breath or will you go to another dimension enjoying your loved ones.
I can’t imagine wanting to stay someplace that’s so full of terror and hate as the Earth especially being in a body that is withering away. I have a fear of not being able to take care of myself one day and who will be there for me? I am single and my daughter lives out west with her family the price you pay for just having one child.
I’ve seen my mom’s physical presence age from a beautiful young , adventurous woman to a little old lady now frail who is afraid of everything and not able to do many things on her own. In her mind this is how it goes your body just breaks down on you because you get old. While it is true it’s a hard pill for me to swallow.
Her decline seems to have been rapid I would say in the last 10 years. When she lost her aunt in 2002 that took a toll on her.
I started the practice of walking in at 40 and I know that my health has benefited. As well as being mindful about my food choices.
I want to always be able to take care of myself when I’m in my 90s. I’m afraid of having to be put in nursing home. My daughter says she would not let that happen because she knows what a bad rep they have. I really want to believe that.
When you get to a point in life where you actually think about when you leave this earth because you’re old enough to think about those things and be practical with planning etc it’s a very sobering thought. It doesn’t make me feel good yet is I must accept it.
Even though it’s not something that I think about all the time on a daily basis the fact that we all have to face that in this life and to prepare to lose our parents or older relatives, it’s just sad. But “that’s life” as they say. What I can do is be grateful show love to the people that I love and to my do my little part of making the world a better place and being grateful for who is in my life that I love and all of my blessings instead of always thinking about why don’t I have this or why don’t I have that.
I’m wondering how other women feel ? I do feel emotionally more stable than I did when I was younger I feel less anxiety and a greater sense of peace. This is due to my faith in God, life experience and wisdom and me prioritizing my mental health .
